AUNTIE MAME!

eww. somehow, my face expression in pics show how cranky, blue I was. I didn't notice when I took them. I wish I could cover up my face; yet my lack of technology wouldn't let me to do. and I hate my bang WHICH I made it a few days ago..and went to fail!

Yesterday, after staying at coffee house ,studying, I headed Allen pkhy to watch the show 'Auntie Mame' at Stage. since it was the first time going to the live theatre, therefore I was sort of nervous. A lobby was crwoded people looked like ,sort of upper class. I got my seat, L-F-7, and soon the show started. It is about an arphan boy Patric who is sent to Auntie Mame ,his aunt. unexpectly, thw show was mostly about Auntie Mame, how she struggles her new life w/ young boy. It was funny and made me think about a lot of things. what she said," Live a life! Life is banquet!" haunted me. I had to wonder "Do I live a life?" It doesn't mean if I had a life.

After, I headed to H.E.B to celerbrate Saturday nite with yum food, I bought some sushi and cheese cake. I just badly needed something could pleasure to me, well I could have gone to friend apartments tho, didn't really feel like it. Sometimes, being alone is better than being with someone, or in crowd.

I fell asleep while I was watching dvd on futon. for some reason I woke up at 3:00am and like I always do, checked my cell phone.and There were 6 new msgs. It was all A's . I don't feel sharing too much so.but since here is only place I express my thought and feeling, I will do a bit not in order.

The thing btw us, which we both never defined clearly,is over now. We both know it can ever work out, or get into serious a relatioship. Even though we had a feeling each other, we never trust each other. How could we build a relationship if we can trust each other? would that be real? So, we decided to leave the thing behind us, just as a good moment watever we did and move on.

I still miss touching his soft skin while we were talking, lying on bed.the songs we listend and sung to, drving anywhere for no destination, walking the streets ,holding eachother's hand until they got sweaty, his passionate kissing, well-muscled his arms which held me, the love we made, the feeling he touched me, teasing around, sneaking in his house which made his granma pissed off, the hugs, cold weather, rubbig faces against eachother, all the things We had done. I will not mention ever again aftert this. try to leave it,like I said, just as a beautiful moment.

It does hurt me but I don't see wat else we could do, or I could. It's time to move on.

it really sucks. I still don't know how to love and be loved.