speechless

i 've confessed my feeling for someone only once when I was 13years old. He was the boy I hung out with all the time and suddenly I found him very charming and attractive. it wasn't a love but I really liked him and I cried when he dumped me by saying he had to concentrate on his sports club. since that time, I liked some boys as i got older and older. I either just waited until the boy asked me go out or gave up without saying anything about my feeling. i guess i am very shy. luckily, most of boy i liked also felt same way I did and would not make me wait long. since i tend to give boys a right to start relationship, everything depends on boys feeling, rather than mine.

I got to think, what if i could be the one start build relationship? what if i confess my feeling to some one i actually like, or try to make him mine by showing how i feel? what if i try to be more brave than i used to be? i 've been always scared express my feeling. like, "i miss you" ,"i really like you", "i love you" even if there were right moments, i wouldn' t say anything.

I felt like if i let him know how deep i fall into him, he would be less interested in me, find me boring, and passion of me fades away. i don't know why i am being so nagative about that. i will try to change myself.if i fall into somebody again, i will try to be honest with him, also with myself. i will try not to be scared of expressing my feeling, and just go for it.