Well, where was I yesterday I meant talking about 2 days. o. we got soo sleepy so went bed together. He asked me if he could still cuddle me up like we committed to eachother so I say yes.
So we laid down together on his all washed- sheet. oh I forgot. before we laid down, he grabbed the guitar and played it for a while. whatever he was playing was sooo good. just sweet.. and we laid down.. I couldn't sleep well at all bcz I was so conscious of his hand rubbing on me. His hands' movement would make me nerveous and awake.. like he knew how to treat girls..haha. well..
eventually, I fell asleep and woke up around 10 am i guess.. on next day.
He had to go pick up his check at hospital so , he took a shower first, and head over to work around 11 am. In the meantime, I got ready to go out, like took a shower, put make up on face.made hair..
As He came back, One of his friend named Baker (I am not sure if I spelled it right) came over to sell weed to him. When he knocked the door, I was getting ready and luke was in bath room.
So I just went up to door , opened it and said hi ,shook hands with him, introduced my self so quik and asked him I may have excuse to go back to restroom to get ready. It happened in 1min.
As I got done, we all went out together to grab some eat for lunch but , Baker was more attracted by his girl friend-ex girl friend so, just luke and I went to eat at "Trudys" which was mexcian restaurant.
I had been sort of feeling I was the only one kept leading conversation, so I stopped talking.
And wanted watch what he would do. Well, while we were waiting our order, it was kind of quiet between us. what I did, just kept texting and staring at people . And suddenly he talked a bit.
It was sort of boring lunch time. He seemed really do wat he want, when he wants, other than that , not even care of concern. which makes me insane in some way.
We were gonna go museum after lunch, then it was kind of too early to go exhibition..so we
headed to house again. He put dvd and started smoking weed. Well I tried the day before, so ..I smoked ,too. This time I smoked it much more than before and I got stunned . I never felt high before so.. at first it felt so weird like dizzy, sleepy,,,all the crap , but all of sudden, It got me high like.. feeling so good,relaxed, .. He also kept saying "I am high.-.stunned" in sexy accent..
When I didn't even notice, he grabbed the guitar again, and play some of songs.. I wouldn't say it sounded so good bcz of getting high, but it was really good.. he has a talent for music.
I was lying down on him and... all of sudden, we fell asleep and woke up 8 o'clock which was alreday late for exhibition... I woke up first and woke him up. The thing was the exhibition close at 9:00. anyhow, we headed to museum.. but we couldn't make it out . when we got there they already shut down. oooo. we kept missing the things we planed, sucks.
So, we decided to go museum on Saturdy and instead we went to pipe store. Like he said, he was being picky to pick right pipe for him so we just left nothing on our hands.. And I couldn't help thinking he didn't like me tat much I wasn't sure but since some period time, he didn't talk to much or play with me like he used to do on first day .
He had mentioned about his one of older brother coming over to austin from san antonio. So we headed to Bar close to his neighborgood to meet his bro and one of his fellow.
As soon as we got there, his bro and fellow came. They were all nice. we drank little and talked for while. actually, he's bro was hilarious and considerate of others. I didn't want to compare to bros who were luke and his bro Joe. but Joe was like.. kept talking to me , asking questions, caring about me .I guess bcz I barely knew all of them.. when I looked at Luke, even though I was his date something watever. anyaway, he wouldn't care about me as much as his bro did.
He just kept talking with bro's fellow and bout family stuff tat i wouldn't understand...
well, I wouldn't say he got an obligation to take care of me, but at least, I was asked to meet his friend and his bro wheher if i wanted or not. I think he gotta take his responsability of bring me out there, apparently, he wasn't aware of that. ooo. when everyone was ordering drink , I got no idea what to order bcz I didn't used to drink. well, i could ask luke to suggest but, I felt more comfortable asking Joe, so I did, he got me RedChair which was vodka and got me drunk after two glass of it. It was horrible what I did. I stumbled over street and threw up on grass.
And kept doing gross thing even at his house.. We all smoked weed and I went restroom throwing up again. sucks, I was like high + drunk.. so humiliation.. I didn't really feel like going back to living room where everybody was hanging around so just went straight to bed.
After for while, it seemed everyone's gone and luke came into bedroom and laid next me..
I started singing in korean I dont know why I did it..and fell asleep as I remember..
We were gonna go down town but as I was drunk and he was sort of exhuasted so.. while we were sleeping, the thought of he didn't like me getting worse. bcz He didn't even cuddle me up anylonger.. I didn't know how it felt when he used to cuddle me up but, all of sudden I felt so depressed when I realized how it felt he didn't even want cudlle me up or rub on me..that sucks. In being conscious of all the noise of him, I felt asleep and sad bcz The thine between us seemed wasn't working out well..
09:30am on Saturday, I woke up first..all of sudden, the bad thought came to my mind so bad, and got me scared even just looking at him sleeping. like afraid to look at him not interested in me anymore and feel it rest of day.. I was staring at him for a while. He was more likely beautiful than handsome as hell. he got blond hair , shape nose, white skin and little soft looking lip.
I was supposed leave before he goes work aroud like 6 pm to 7 pm.. we planned to go exhibition.. I couldn't stay with feeling that its going to be awkward day with him..so what I did was leaving him and heading to Houston..I was hesitating a lot .bcz it could insert him ...and obvioulsy, could end our relationship eventhough it had been barely built.. He is really nice, smart and gorgeous though.. but the way he had treated me, like, not really talked , not tried to lead conversation with me, decided everything without asking me.. all that shit , I wasn't sure if i could go through rest of day.even there was only day time remained to go with. so.. I thought on and on.. and finally I left... sucks. After driving all the way toward to east, I got home.. it took me about 2hours which was less than the way I headed to Austin.. As I got home, I put my stuff back and turned on laptop.. as usual, checked e mail and surprisely, I got email from him.
" Well I just woke up and you're gone... Tried to call but can't get through. I hope everything is ok... Let me know. Luke
When I was on may way to get back, I hadn't hear from him So I thouht, he didn't even care about I just left.. but it seemed he did..well. I mailed back him saying why I left and how sorry I was left him without any notice. I haven't got respond from him .well.. I don't really expect him to send me mail back..tats now how I look at him... well.. eventhough it didn' really work out I don't regret what I had done...I looked at it as experience.
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